voodoo-ed and killed.

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

there i did it. the time has come. i was kinda expecting it, when bitchiness is at its height and im spamming a post that doesnt make sense.

red and swollen eyes. runny nose. continuous sniffing. teary-eyed face. frown.
conclusion: nervous breakdown.

yep i did it. for a good whole 15 min in front of the comp, with -down- on the class blog ringing in my eyes. an uncontrollable 15 min. constantly having fits/spasms. gulping for air non-stop. feeling helpless and hopeless. all emotions released in that 15 min.

i grabbed my towel and ran into the toilet, aiming that showerhead at me. in that instant, the brave front i was putting on all along got washed away with my tears down the drain. i felt empty, at a loss, and down. vulnerable and totally hollow.

as i slowly calmed down, i felt myself forming a new front... all ready to take on the stress and emotional expectations till the next breakdown. let's see how this new front can last ba, under the tremedous creator of stress - jc life.

after a good "long" bath, im feeling tons better. thank you wenjie for tokking to me for abt 20 min haha. dont worry, u are not the cause of the breakdown. i know that crying will not do the current situation any good, chanel handbags but at least it aided in my emotional aspect. im more ready to take on the rest of the week. come on man. im not afraid anymore. tired then tired loh. i can do it de.

mon: interact camp 0815 - 1600 class bbq 1700 - 2330 skipped co 1500 - 1900
tue: interact camp 0830 - 2230
wed: guitar auditions 0830 - 1200 co 1500 - 1900
OVER!

thu: council campaign discussion 1000 - ?
fri: guitar practice 0830 - 1200 study grp 1300 - 1730 ruan zu prac 1830 - 2130
sat: spam hmk ? - 1430 ruan zu concert 1600 - ?
sun: spam hmk ? - 1430 ruan zu concert 1600 - ?
i'll be waiting...

impt list: egg drop, phy test, econs timed assignment, council elections
impt hmk list: maths assignment 2b, tut 2b. phy 2-d kinematics, chem gases tut, phy spa graph
hmk list: inequalities tut, chem bonding tut, econs tut 12

k sorry if this sounds like so contrasting to the previous post. but guess the breakdown helped loads. well... jia you to the end of this wk ba.

voodoo-ed and killed at 11:48 PM

VOODOO-ED.

life is like a needle.
a voodoo needle.
it pricks.
and it hurts.
every passing day,
it will find its way to prick me.

the moment i felt
the lethal injection enter my body,
i knew it was over.
this curse has been embedded into me,
not going to be lifted anytime soon.
for the next couple of decades at least.

it's too late.
don't start regretting.
the curse of life begins.
everything is no longer the same,
anymore.
try to accept it.
(i know i'm trying.)

i've been voodoo-ed.
and now,
i'm just waiting
for the effects to take place,
for the day to come.
waiting, for the curse to befall upon me.
simply waiting,
to meet my doom.

life's never the same again.
i'm voodoo-ed. and killed.