Wednesday, September 27, 2006
ridiculous. the whole promos first day was ridiculous.
gp paper 1. i chose a question that looked super easy. then turned out whole class only 3 ppl do >.<
ridiculous.
gp paper 2. one of the passages actually mentioned that to save the earth, we must kill fellow humans and embrace nuclear power! whee. and nono, cannot wind power. too much land le. YEAH RIGHT.
ridiculous.
econs paper. case study. hah. hah. im just like laughing at myself. btw, siva set the paper. at least the case study.
what more can i say?
RIDICULOUS(-ly dead).
p.s. boggarts with bad eyesight anywhere? i just spammed ur fav spell in the wrong spelling a couple of times. let me do it right this time. ridikulus.
voodoo-ed and killed at 12:56 PM
Sunday, September 17, 2006
"Run! Run!" he shouted as we scrambled to our feet and attempted to escape from the chasing troops. Ever since the war began, everything started to turn into chaos despite the superficial peaceful appearance. But it's becoming eminent, dark clouds are filing in, thunder boomed and lightning threatened.
We saw the closest building there was, an abandoned hut that has been vacant for years. "Hurry! Let's head in there! It will be safe!" he persuaded as he lured me into the dark and sinister-looking house. I blindly followed, trusting him whole-heartedly. Little did I know I have fallen into a tremendous trap.
Once in the house, he prompted me to describe to him the plans I had for the upcoming battles. I said and talked and elaborated, explaining all the blueprints and revealing all the secrets of our army to him, never ever thinking he will ever turn against me. After dealing with all the plans, he expressed a look of satisfaction, although I did not think much of it. We went to sleep after having a toast of the water he offered me from his bottle as mine ran dry.
I never lived to open my eyes again. The next morning, my body just laid in a pool of blood in the building, many knives stabbed into my back, and drugged from the water he gave me. I was clearly unaware of anything. Sunlight shone in warmly,
chanel handbags hitting upon my severely wounded back. But I could not feel anything, anymore, ever again.
After looking back, everything was so obvious. He had always been a spy of the enemy, just making use of me to spill the beans. Now that all my plans were clear and exposed, he had no use for me anymore. It was time to advance and attack. It was time to report to the dark side and receive orders to lead me to my death.
Such an irony, that my deathbed looked so ghastly similar to a graveyard, with concrete cemented blocks and grey walls surrounding me.
The only comrade that I have fully trusted has betrayed me. I have hardly felt so... betrayed before.
But all these realisations came too late. Too too late.
voodoo-ed and killed at 1:17 PM
Monday, September 11, 2006
it's late at night.
everyone else in my household has fallen asleep.
i'm in front of my computer, deep in thought.
listening to foolish games by jewel.
tears fall yet again.
Foolish Games - Jewel
You took your coat off and stood in the rain
You were always crazy like that
I watched from my window
Always felt I was outside looking in on you
You were always the mysterious one with dark eyes and careless hair
You were fashionably sensitive,
chanel handbags but too cool to care
Then you stood in my doorway, with nothing to say
Besides some comment on the weather
Well in case you failed to notice, in case you failed to see
This is my heart bleeding before you, this is me down on my knees
These foolish games are tearing me apart
Your thoughtless words are breaking my heart
You're breaking my heart
You were always brilliant in morning
Smoking your cigarettes and talking over coffee
You philosophies on art, Baroque moved you
You loved Mozart and you'd speak of your loved ones
As I clumsily strummed my guitar
You'd teach me of honest things
Things that were daring, things that were clean
Things that knew what an honest dollar did mean
So I hid my soiled hands behind my back
Somewhere along the line I must've gone off track with you
Excuse me, think I've mistaken you for somebody else
Somebody who gave a damn, somebody more like myself
These foolish games are tearing me apart
You're tearing me, tearing me, tearing me apart
Your thoughtless words are breaking my heart
You're breaking my heart
You took off your coat and stood in the rain
You were always crazy like that
i'm so foolish.
You're tearing me, tearing me, tearing me apart
Your thoughtless words are breaking my heart
voodoo-ed and killed at 1:13 AM
Saturday, September 09, 2006
Welcome to No-Lifer Idol! After many rounds of intense competition, we have with us our Top 10! All of the finalists has exhibited their talents in being able to capture time off this no-lifer! Who will be eliminated? And who will last till the very end? Let's find out from today's Results Show!
You are reading... No-Lifer Idol!
Hihi, welcome everyone to this episode of No-Lifer Idol! This is your host jeyishor over here, pronounced as 'jay-ee-shore' and not 'jay-is-whore' (jay chou fans dont hit me, hit those who pronounce this wrongly instead), thank you very much. You can call me d0tz as well! What an affectionate nickname. Let's bring in our judges who never get eliminated from this competition! Or rather judge. And that is... me!
*fakes persona* [waves hand and smiles at camera]
Anyway, we are left with our final 7 Idols! So let's take a look at them!
But before that, let us recap the eliminated finalists of the competition.
3 episodes ago, we waved sayonara to General Paper as it set up a record breaking amount of time of 0 seconds! That's simply amazing. I mean, isn't it such an engaging contestant? so fun and interesting to be with, you'll feel like a total waste of time! Oh well, we just had to kick it out of the stage then...
2 episodes ago, Television sadly had to be eliminated due to the lack of time. A wondeful entertainer, many thought that it will last longer in the competition. But sadly, time is trailing away... yes, time is trailing away from this entertaining contestent. We will always remember it.
last episode, we wished Going Out all the best as it left the stage! The judges (or rather judge) claimed that though a strong contender, there just weren't enough time to keep it in the competition!
chanel handbags That's the problem with this Idol competition. Others you can vote as many times as u want, but for this competition, you are only given... alas! only 24 hours per day to vote and allocate to your favourite no-lifers!
Current Idols left in the competition!
Chemistry - A big sized Idol, with lots of chains and bond up its sleeves. Be careful, if u dont allocate enough time to it, it will just tie you up and leave you suffering for promos!
Mathematics - A knowledgeable Idol, with its fair share of deep thoughts and forever impossible to decipher logic. Get all your satisfaction from it if u have an infactuation with numbers!
Economics - Street-smart, diagramy, this Idol is gotta be your fav as well. Its wonderful abbreviations are just going to leave you breathless. Come on, take this. LRAC! *spams to audience* MC! MR! AC! LRMC! DD! SS! P! Q! omg this is never ending.
Physics - A horrible monster, but recently toned down a lot in terms of its danger as its toxins of measurements, kinematics, dynamics, forces and wep are slowly extracted away. Nevertheless, with the limited time available, it is still a potential killer.
Music - You want sad moments, happy moments, musical moments, just look for him! Although totally useless in dealing with promos. It does serve as an antidote for you to handle the 4 nasty beasts stated above. So let's hope it will last longer in this competition...
Sleep - Haha, this Idol is so powerful that i think it's impossible that it will not have enough time to keep it in the competition. Come on, i mean i'm like dozing off every 5 min from reading my notes (abt 10 lines? >.<)
AuditionSea - A potent antidote in taking up the 4 monstrous creatures, but sadly I dont have enough time to continue buying it in the competition. So let's just hope for the best. Will love to keep you, but have to see how much time u are allocated then.
*Results Show has been postponed* (I decided to play one more day of Audition. tonight. oh gg, im so dead. kk kicking it out soon. *kick kick kick*)
voodoo-ed and killed at 5:07 PM
Thursday, September 07, 2006
i have totally no idea wad a bitch ive been over this period of time. so much so that i cant account it and push the blame to stress thats leading for me to do this. the old me and has caught up again. thats really freaky.
i seriously dunno whats the problem with me. am i just fated not to able to make any frens? why do my frenships seem to end up in failure. i guess i know the reason why. but a more pressing question, why just cant i seem to change for the better?
i had so many chances. in lower secondary, thereafter affecting my life in upper secondary. not to forget my fair share of failures in upper sec and now. it's happened again. whats wrong with me? do i have to make frens in such a bitter way?
what has happened to all my promises to myself that ill curb all the unneccesary sensitiveness? all the unnecessary pettiness? even more, all the unneccesary sarcasm??? i dunno why. I SERIOUSLY DUNNO WADS THE FREAKING PROBLEM WITH ME.
is that the reason why i just cant seem to make frens properly? i mean, who would want to make frens with a petty selfish sarcastic bitch? boy, do i hate myself. so many lessons and i dont have to seem to have changed. even worse when there are ppl around me to truthfully remind me of all the things ive done and taken from ppl.
why do i always seem to take things from ppl and be so mindful when ppl do likewise? i really dont understand why either. do i really have to care so much if ppl lose my notes, dirty it, or meng ask me to print stuff, or ask me to treat to drinks, or borrow money? it doesnt exactly take my life right? what is exactly wrong with this person over here. it's as though i don't deserve any frens. being this jerk that i am.
i think ive just answered the questions in my past post abt why i just cant seem to befriend X or Y. cos it's so obvious man, who would want to talk to someone like that. or even get close at all. i personally dont know how ive got past these 8 months. hah, i guessed ive been just living on ppl's courtesy and politeness that we shouldnt end a frenship so soon. just living on all these buffer time and self-indulge that i have frens around me. whee im so loved. yeah right.
seriously, why? why am i so impossibly unchangeable? why must i mind when ppl dont fulfill their promises to reply me on msn when half of the time im online i actually forgot to off my comp and fell asleep instead, leading to ppl not being able to find me? why must i mind if ppl are happily attached and have their future goals and aims to achieve,
louis vuitton handbags and here i am being this sour grape and indulge myself in "oh im so lonely" kind of crap? CAN I JUST MOVE ON IN LIFE. if that happens, so be it! give them ur blessings, and just get lost man. who needs u around. no one appreciates that unneccessary sarcasm, bitchiness, that fucked-up person over there la.
i wonder how much has ppl been taking in. all my nonsense and shit. why can ppl keep quiet abt my flaws and suckiness and everything, but i must voice them all out? am i out to downgrade ppl? just to lift myself higher? as though im better off? to be truthful, perhaps i just am u know. thats such a despicable act. i really dunno wads come over me man. wads that prob abt making myself better? so? impress ppl. hah. like real. more of putting ppl off.
being the youngest child, and having siblings much older, i guess ive been brought up as though i was an only child with 4 parents. i think ive been too spoilt. so much so that ppl are just leaving me. i really dont get the logic, why am i like this despite my need in my character for close frens? arent i just driving them away? why must i be so overpossessive again? why must i care so much if frens just dont call me out for an outing or wad? dont these happen all the time, both ways? why must i mind so much if i cant achieve the ideal situation where 3 of my closest frens in the class can come together and have a meal quietly instead of one big crowd at somewhere else? i mean, i did not know we were celebrating wen sheu's bdae, if not i would have gone too, thats for sure. but for a normal meal, is there anything wrong? why must i think "whats their prob if we cannot squeeze into a table, just split la"? wheres the class spirit and all? yes, we should be sitting together in one table, despite restricted movements. is all these mini inconveniences so unbearable for just 30-45 min? wads my prob man. why must i insist on small numbers all the time? is it cos i dont seem to shine in a big grp as i just lack the charisma, so im like dying for ppl to listen to me, wanting a small outing so much? i dont think im that attention seeking. but why? why cant i just break out from my life now, and attempt something all new? like trying to mix around more? like trying to speak up more in a crowd despite ppl disagreeing with u and stuff?
argh, that brings me to another pt. why am i always failing to convince ppl? why do i seem to mind so much if ppl just want to debate against me and prove me wrong? if i cant win then so be it la, im just plain lousy at it. why bother thinking so much and getting worked up over it? areas in eloquency and language that im lacking, i can make up in other areas right? why do i just want to excel in these superficial aspects?
i miss having a small group of frens where we can just chill out together almost all the time. im always so envious of wensi, she can mix around with the class like anything, yet still achieving the exact same effect im looking for, having this small grp of frens that can go out and study and talk crap and share stuff and even stayover together. me? im apparently failing in both. mixing around with the class, considered still ok after putting in extra effort. i really mean it cos i really tried very very hard to try and mingle with the class. as for having a few close knitted frens, thats a total failure. i tried a grp of frens, but in the end it just didnt seem to work out cos i just dont seem to fit in. im not into soccer, not strategy games either. after that i tried to join another in going out and kbox and stuff. it's also the same, no progress as they were already close knitted b4 my "invasion" and now my existence in like non-existent cos they can perfectly co-exist without me. i wont have stuff like, "where's jiahao?" kind of thing, cos im just totally not making an impression. now im stuck in the middle, where the first grp was in danger of tearing up with this daoing war. and now still tearing up practically cos the daoing war has ended. i really dunno wad to do. it's that kind of situation u die either way ("would u prefer being burnt at the stake or lethal injection?"). second grp, i really dunno if im even part of them in the first place. nicknames can just fly all over the place showing how close they are ("shan" "mummy" "boonsi" etc) and im kinda forever out of that clique.
just wanted to end off by saying. although i am bitchy, sucky, irritating, selfish, self-concious, despicable, petty, sarcastic, i am lonely too. i seriously would like a grp of frens who are close knitted and can simply do everything together. as wad someone who is one of my closer frens in the class has said, i may treat them as my very gd frens, or even best frens, but they may not treat me as so. and that someone also said he doesnt want to be tied down by a few frens thats all.
actually i realised something, mebbe that shows that ive been looking for the wrong frens so far? where are those frens who i can stick to all the time? wad has happened to all those 4-5 hr phone calls, msn convos up to 4am, going out and catching movies, being just us 2-3? stayovers up to 3-4 nights in a row? studying together? going to each other's house often and staying till 2am even? or at the very least stay for dinner and leaving abt 8-9pm?
must it always be big groups of 10 and above?
i suddenly feel like calling someone now. argh, breakdown moments again.
voodoo-ed and killed at 9:18 PM
Monday, September 04, 2006
i totally dont like this feeling the class is giving me. im heavily reminded of high school. argh. stress is piling up upon me.
now i know wad truly is peer pressure.
and i mean practically everyone.
voodoo-ed and killed at 4:52 PM
Friday, September 01, 2006
it has been a super slacky wk :P sorry la, i know promos coming, but just too in the holiday mood.
wed went to ikea (revisit rofl) with wensi yushan cheejia deren wenjie peishan ruiyuan. haha went there to try the meatballs. i ordered spaghetti with meatballs. wah they werent kidding la, it's really nice. lots of different kinds of flavors to go with it as well. theres my tomato sauce from the spaghetti, a salty sauce kouped from wenjie, and a sweet jam made from LINGON berries. haha took special notice cos deren was testing us wad jam it was. ("cranberry!" "raspberry!" "strawberry!" "blackberry!") the prices were also ok la, at least still single digit lol. we were all like saying next time stj come here. of cos is when we are seniors la lmao.
after went to shop around (again lol). this time mainly focus on downstairs haha, so doing without the beds and room decors. but we had a real load of fun at the cactuses haha, cos thats what we intended to buy for tchrs' day. wah the varieties were really plentiful la, so many until can take ur time to choose the type. then later need to choose the nicest one out of all the same type of cactuses. no wonder we took such a long time lol. there was one lotus looking one, then a "bunny ears", and i bought one that was so fluffy la lol. looks like it's been covered with cotton wool. but mind u, it's super prickly. wanted to give it to my pri sch CO tchr in charge, but in the end didnt go back. sadd. so it's like at home now. perhaps ill find a nice owner to give it away =))
yesterday went back to high school to visit teachers after tchr day celebrations. the celebrations was really not bad i felt, quite smoothly run and minor glitches here and there (like kiss goodbye). i especially liked the skit put up by our teachers haha. very creative and funny. oh, miss huang and mr ling were in it too. oh back to high school. had a nice catching catching up with all our teachers,
chanel handbags i think we met quite a lot of them. mdm kee, mr low, miss wong, mr tieu, mrs sow, mrs goh, even mrs mok. haha, and quite a lot of ex-4hers came back to visit as well. it was one of the few moments that we feel really 4h haha. in the past i dont think we were anywhere as united la, all day mugging (who call us mugger class). in fact we hardly even have a SINGLE class outing before. so yesterday was a really gd moment for us not only visiting our teachers again, but also reuniting as a class.
after that a whole bunch of us went to prince and eat. though this might seem nothing to a lot of ppl. i felt it was really special for us la. cos of the very fact we would nv go out and have a meal together de. even coro. i kinda agree with wad yuxiang said. he was expecting only a few guys to go along with us to eat, but in the end so many came along till it was a class thing. a truly 4h2005 outing lol. we seem to have grown closer after 8mths of "separation" hahas. can tell everyone treasured that time together as well, from lots of "thx for coming" from a number of us. hope someone will organise something end of the year hahas.
oh ya, wed night i was playing audition with cheejia wensi yushan puayhian wenjie. was practicising 8key and chance depending on freestyle or choreo. i seriously think 8 key is super hard. not only pressing, but seeing the keys also. they look so alike lahs can. anyway thats not my main pt. my main point is, im simply a tyco freakkkkkkkk. SUPER DUPER UBER TYCOOO DAO. the lvl 8 to 9 license i was already very tyco by having last 2 moves being perf and perf x1 to finish up my remaining 2 perfects and my 10k points or so. this time the license from lvl 9 to 10, tyco-ness struck once again manz. i missed my first fm la. then i was telling myself gg liao, confirm lose this 600den on taking the license. cos yushan said and i agree i MUST have 2 fms in order to get 330k points for the song. so nvm, i continued playing, feeling quite screwed la. as the song approached an end, i had 3 perfs remaining and a WHOLE LOAD of points to go. i was telling myself even if i can complete the 3 perfects, the points are impossible to complete de la. but the impossible happened. on last 3 moves. perf, perf x1 and this most uber tyco thing happened. I COMPLETED MY LAST MOVE WITH A PERFECT X2 FM!!!!!! it's like omgomgomgomgomg lahhhs can. despite missing one WHOLE fm, i barely passed the license yet again lah. all thx to my perf streak at the end. ESPECIALLY WITH MY SECOND FM! talking abt being lucky. cos u know u dont get to fm so fast, need the "bar" to fill up with ur perfs, greats, cools, bads. so my perf and perf x1 kind shot the bar up to max and i could do fm la. if not i wouldnt have even been able to do a fm, not to mention a x2 perf one. lady luck is on my side la, giving me a gd license experience b4 my promos. cos i confirm wont be able to lvl again b4 promos de, going to stop soon.
woke up very early today cos last night have server check/patch update from 12am to 9am. sians la, puayhian cheejia yushan and i were playing last night, while waiting for wensi. then in the end this stupid patch thingy made me play only like 5 songs max. wensi didnt even get to play la... nvm, i shall go see if the patch is avaiable for d/l. then i d/l and zao le. going out today, probably my truly last time going out b4 promos le. be afraid. be very afraid. be extremely afraid. promos is just 20+ days away. omg this is sooooo freaky la. 20+ days only!!!
voodoo-ed and killed at 9:12 AM