perhaps i should stop lamenting.
perhaps i should stop thinking abt wad happened.
in fact im past that phase already. heading towards "why it happened?"
gd for me i guess, sometimes u need to do some reflection to improve on ur character.
and hopefully not commit the same mistakes again.
but the problem is, i dont even know wad ive done wrong.
things just happen dont they?
and u dont even get a chance to react.
so by the time it strikes you. it's kind of too late.
yup, so i have to suffer under my own slow reaction..
do not do unto others as you would have others do unto you.
i think i'm getting the meaning of this, slowly.
but if i dont do it, who knows how far we'll drift apart.
and yet as i have others doing unto me, i feel what i expect others will too.
i know how it feels.
contradictory isn't it? but that's how life goes.
hmm i think i may be getting it.
but then again, i don't think so.
cos i totally dunno how to go on from here.
if i don't attempt, we'll might as well have been strangers.
but if i do, all i may bring is just irritation.
so can anyone tell me what i should do?
another thing.
i don't have a clue what happened.
but just somehow, we don't talk anymore.
though i seriously suspect is due to his excessive mugging.
but still, there's no reason for this friendship to fade away like that right?
haha perhaps he's adopting my policy.
if nothing clicks anymore between two friends,
then it could just mean it's time to move on.
so i guess he finds no point in making a friend like me anymore?
in that case, i do send him my best wishes.
i'm sure he is enjoying very well the company he's with.
there's no need for a friend like me i guess =)
last thing.
you know how sometimes put in so much effort and time,
and really try so hard,
but it amounts to nothing in the end?
nah im not referring to studies.
it's like, this situation cant help but make you think,
then isnt this so superficial?
i always thought i was pretty close,
only to find out now that im nowhere near after all.
so has it been a wrong approach ive been trying to adopt since jc began?
should i really go back to wad i did in sec sch?
cos apparently, that can bring me friends.
true friends that really care for me and know me well.
i'm not saying i dont treat my friends now as friends.
but it's just that feeling of being this outlier, u know?
someone that tries ever so hard but
never will get remembered or noticed.
it's not like im some attention seeker u know,
always wanting to be noticed.
but
chanel handbags can't help but feel super left out sometimes.
im not some prince who has to be waited on or wad,
but i dont think it's too much to ask for,
to simply not get left behind?
im not saying this to appeal to anyone.
in fact if anyone asked deliberately and not based on our true friendship,
i'll rather he/she not ask at all.
i just dunno wad is it abt me
that has to be treated this way.
haha it just all amounts to my own fault i guess.
nvm a lesson learnt is an experience earned.
i just hate myself for having such a screwed up social life.