Monday, February 25, 2008
haven't been updating for sometime. in case anyone still haven't got a clue, i've been spending the past week in NUH ward 57 bed 6, down with ITP (idiopathic thrombocytopenic purpura) and tested positive for one of the dengue tests. 7 full days in bed, having to be wheelchaired wherever u go, and that includes the toilet. so i hardly walked more than 30 steps in those 7 days i think.
basically it's just this problem with extremely low platelet count (i was admitted with platelet count of 12k, compared to a normal range of abt 150k), resulting in unnatural bruising and even some superficial bleeding in my right eye. but thankfully they hurt a lot less than they look.
now that im discharged (with a grand total of 40k on sat), have been on att c and staying at home. well, i dunno if it's the drugs acting as some sort of depressant or wadnot, but seriously i havent been feeling myself ever since i came back. in fact, i think i was a whole lot happier during the time i was in hospital. partially, it's probably due to the side effects from the medication, making me feel extremely useless =.= i feel slight discomfort at my joints when walking (probably due to the long time made to spend in bed in case of internal bleeding), having this water retention problem that isnt helping me feel better, as bloatedness sets in and im pretty reluctant to take in fluids. and kinda to top it all, i got all this tiny sharp headaches and migraine after being up for a little too long. prob i could add in that my spine feels kinda weird, though i hope it's just probably due to the bone marrow extraction test done on me last wk.
actually i also dunno what im ranting abt. it's probably the drugs making me go bonkers or wad. but on a psychological mode, im feeling equally bad as well. now under att c, im being requested to stay at home and rest, and that pretty much cuts me off from the world. at least during my stay in hospital, my spirits really lifted when ppl came to pay me a visit, and for that im really thankful. you guys made my stay in hospital a lot more comfy. uh thanks to ryan, sam's mum, wenjie, peishan, yushan, pengsing, ruiyuan, kwangguan, huijie, jieyee, peizhi, clarence, jianting, limyuan, and esp esp my family.
louis vuitton handbags so sorry if i missed anyone out. but really thanks a lot all the same. now, feeling like a zombie at home, cos there's pretty much nth to do, and no one ever thinks of paying home visits once the guy's out of hospital ma. it's just no longer that... obligated. haha.
ok la, i admit, feeling kinda lonely. being in bmt, they forever flood u with activity after activity, and after u bookout, you want to make use of ur precious bookout time so much u find all sorts of stuff to occupy urself and end up hustling from one place to another. but stricken with something like this, you cant help but have to slow down and take things easy. i dunno how long is the next time ill probably feel well again to go do some jogging or exercising. and with so many guys in NS, and the rest all working, dunno when will i probably have the chance to meet up and have a good chat with them. so now the slow moving time is like... it's practically crawling.
now all i hope is to not let this affect my NS life too much la. it's pretty big of a worry for me, cos if i miss so many major events that ill have to make up, then it'll probably eat into my already super duper short block leave (which i totally dont want to), and im as good as never having any block leave at all. but more crucially, hopefully i wont be stuck in this sickly condition forever. i really want to get better. seriously. you have no idea how you feel like this zombie where you waddle from place to place cos u cant exactly hurry if not you'll feel pain at the calves, and the bloatedness in the stomach is worsening the effect. and at night you probably cant rest well cos of the tiny pins and needles in your head, and on top of that a nudging pain in ur backbone not allowing you to lie flat. (and these are all already out of the context, considering that the main problem elapsing from my illness is the numerous bruises all over my body).
voodoo-ed and killed at 1:47 PM
Sunday, February 10, 2008
shall write a short post before i go bathe and get ready for book in.
this year's cny was quite fun i guess, with the usual house visiting for the 1st 2 days. sam and ryan came over for a short while on friday, before ryan went to his stayover at junwei's house. went with sam to west mall without having anything in mind, so we just ended up in coffee bean, getting a hot drink (actually we didnt expect it to be hot lol) and eating some cake. ahh i seriously think times with company are the best.
take today for example, went out and met up with yushan wenjie peishan kwangguan and yongxian who came later. went all the way to sembawang to play some arcade bball/photo hunt before coming to JEC to meet yongxian and playing some shooting and bishi bashi. although all in all i didnt really do anything practical (lol), but i felt quite willing to travel here and there to meet up with some classmates loh. if not i wont have much company at home. also, it might probably be the last time im seeing yushan if i dont book out next wk, as she's going overseas for further studies. haha hopefully i can come out next wk, then mebbe can join in any form of farewell the class is giving her.
oh yea, ytd after sdc went home change and went J8 to meet sam and ryan and went sam's house. watched high school musical 2 there online haha. thought the songs were pretty nice. and the show's not bad also lah haha. hanged around till evening when sam's dad fetched me to puay hian's house where the class was.
louis vuitton handbags had a good chat with the army guys, esp dj and sam tan. got to know abt the terrifying mohawk haha, and what we chatted abt gave me quite a bit of motivation la. hopefully this motivation in me can continue to last, and ill push myself more.
going to book in soon. im seriously having pre-book in depression. withdrawal symptoms. but aiya, this long wkend was fun while it lasted. now i just really pray i can get thru next wk and book out after sit test. i hope...
voodoo-ed and killed at 6:16 PM
Sunday, February 03, 2008
oh yay i kinda survived thru fieldcamp. which is like a gr8 feeling haha. cos 1 less big thing to worry abt for bmt. as usual, cant elaborate much due to certain restrictions.
anyway, being bruised all over and having to apply zam-buk like no tomorrow lol. pain sia! but yeah as wad they say la, these wounds will recover but the memories of the experience will last forever. some of the things u will never get to do out of fieldcamp... =)
observed one thing that i suppose is kinda natural for human nature. as u tend to get shagged and in discomfort, patience falls a thousandfold and tension rises proportionately. but thankfully no major conflicts broke out or wad la, so still ok.
chanel handbags but it's clear that everyone tends to get a little snappy and impatient, not excluding yours truly. so yeah, should give some sort of apology to whoever i snapped at during the field camp, when everyone's too shagged to even raise their lips for a smile, but just makes it so simple to give a frown instead.
but in any case, it's all over. so let's hope everyone can obtain back their morale and spirits, and continue to chiong for the rest of bmt! haha.
seeing so many class ppl going for driving lessons, makes me real tempted to take it up too. but i think shall wait till pop ba, if not staying at tekong for 5-6 days a wk makes it kinda hard to make time for lessons. wanna take it up alongside others too. like junzhi who is thinking of going for jap classes. thats pretty cool la, got this temptation to join him in the beginner class. shall take a serious consideration abt these 2 after pop. which is still a while away! sighs.
and still got the major barrier to break, coming in the form of 4 letters - I-P-P-T. double sighs.
shall be back for cny i hope (prays fervently for no guard duty, if not they are really inhumane). super looking forward to it haha. then shall get to meet up with sam ever since he got enlisted. im seriously amazed how he made me out a distance away with my camo and helmet on haha. but nevertheless, it's super interesting how i thought i wont get to meet him all the way till cny, since i never got to see him in bmtc at all, and yet meeting him where i least expected it - outfield. lol.
seriously, how coincidences occur just like that. haha.
voodoo-ed and killed at 9:58 AM
VOODOO-ED.
life is like a needle.
a voodoo needle.
it pricks.
and it hurts.
every passing day,
it will find its way to prick me.
the moment i felt
the lethal injection enter my body,
i knew it was over.
this curse has been embedded into me,
not going to be lifted anytime soon.
for the next couple of decades at least.
it's too late.
don't start regretting.
the curse of life begins.
everything is no longer the same,
anymore.
try to accept it.
(i know i'm trying.)
i've been voodoo-ed.
and now,
i'm just waiting
for the effects to take place,
for the day to come.
waiting, for the curse to befall upon me.
simply waiting,
to meet my doom.
life's never the same again.
i'm voodoo-ed. and killed.