oh um, pls pls pls DO NOT TAG anything abt my previous post. just let it stay there and simply fulfill its task of relieving a bit of my stress. do not tag and ask and comment or wadeva. just keep ur words. thanks. dont even ... or wadeva. JUST DON'T TAG.

esp ppl who frequent my blog. just keep things cool for now. ty.

i really appreciate it.

(pls some freaking bastards dont come and tell me what for i blog if i dont want ppl to tag abt that post. cos i will just tell u to F off. thx.)

life. life. life.

sometimes i just hate being able to feel so much over a small thing. it has its own benefits i guess, having that softer side to u and not be this big bad heartless freak. (ok, overexaggaration. nvm.) but it gets horribly out of control sometimes. u can just stone there and start feeling pissed or sad over a small tiny matter. or a not so small one, for a matter of fact.

call it sensitive, petty, touchy wadeva i dont care. im not going to like condemn this characteristic i have just cos it doesnt make me um... "macho". it's just me, i got to learn to accept and adapt to it, not try to get it out of my life asap or something.

but then again, they are causing tiny things to creep up to me like anything and i cant exactly brush them off. they are like...leeches. small but deadly. why not add the fact that i could be allergic to them as well (ok i dont they dont possess poison or wad. wadeva.). this could attempt to describe the situation?

shant be naming names here. cos it's not very nice, i dont want to incur their wrath either. shall be using 'it' cos 'he/she' is just too troublesome.

1. X is a nice person. but somehow i dunno whether it hates me or something. for wadeva reason i also dunno. i know i cant possibly befriend everyone in the class, school, nation, world. but i actually regarded that i could be part of its clique of sorts. but now it nv seems to want to initiate convos with me, like im some stranger. and it will just hang around with its usual friends (thats perfectly normal), but ill just take a little extra notice when it is talking to someone else out of that grp of ppl. i try to talk la, but the reply like very normal. at least it's not cold i guess. thats when the crappy sensitiveness comes in lahs. so wad if this is so. so wad if im being daoed. so wad if it hates me.

side track: i was just telling wee chern today that i think probably certain ppl are superficial. though i seriously hope it's not so.

2. i have not spoken to Y for ages. it's kinda busy i guess, with loads of work (or so it says). in fact, we hardly ever meet. then again, im a nobody to it ma, so i guess im not so impt a person that we must meet up slightly more often or something. but now we are like so distant, i could feel the cold wind blowing. i also dunno wad else to do. every step i move forward, it seems to move backwards. waitwait, replica watches i havent even said anything that will make it be scared of me. wads wrong with going out with frens or stuff? my only conclusion is as stated above loh, im just not impt enough. taking the initiative is very tiring. i really mean it. it comes back even worse when your every effort just goes to waste with a "not free". sorries just dont seem to do the job leh. it's not healing.

actually im alright already, just really cannot understand the reason why, why, why.

side track: ck always goes on and on abt his __, but he nv nv nv realises how lucky he is. so is wc. (omg i have to laugh at the ck part, cos i noticed something abt this post. nvm.)

this is so contradictory. im like fighting this inner battle. the all-time classic of angel vs devil. there they go again, popping around my head and muttering stuff. at least they agreed upon something. i suck.

p.s. why am i bothering to think so much over such small matters? there are better things to do. actually i also dunno. im being some miracle believer, hoping that everyone will like me? hah, fat hope.

just a random post. nth much to say also. just a tad disappointed that nurul got out. she just has this air of style and coolness around her. slick and all.

found this song that she sang during British Invasion round really nice. sharing it with u guys. chanel i wished i could upload songs. but it's just not working. mebbe someone could help me out with that.

Put Your Records On - Corrine Bailey Rae

Three little birds, sat on my window.
And they told me I don't need to worry.
Summer came like cinnamon
So sweet,
Little girls double-dutch on the concrete.

Maybe sometimes, we got it wrong, but it's alright
The more things seem to change, the more they stay the same
Oh, don't you hesitate.

Girl, put your records on, tell me your favourite song
You go ahead, let your hair down
Sapphire and faded jeans, I hope you get your dreams,
Just go ahead, let your hair down.

You're gonna find yourself somewhere, somehow.

Blue as the sky, sombre and lonely,
Sipping tea in the bar by the road side,
(just relax, just relax)
Don't you let those other boys fool you,
Gotta love that afro hairdo.

Maybe sometimes, we feel afraid, but it's alright
The more you stay the same, the more they seem to change.
Don't you think it's strange?

Girl, put your records on, tell me your favourite song
You go ahead, let your hair down
Sapphire and faded jeans, I hope you get your dreams,
Just go ahead, let your hair down.

You're gonna find yourself somewhere, somehow.

Just more than I could take, pity for pity's sake
Some nights kept me awake, I thought that I was stronger
When you gonna realise, that you don't even have to try any longer.
Do what you want to.

Girl, put your records on, tell me your favourite song
You go ahead, let your hair down
Sapphire and faded jeans, I hope you get your dreams,
Just go ahead, let your hair down.

Girl, put your records on, tell me your favourite song
You go ahead, let your hair down
Sapphire and faded jeans, I hope you get your dreams,
Just go ahead, let your hair down.

Oh, You're gonna find yourself somewhere, somehow

i think this wk has been the busiest week in this term la. wad with econs ilp, gp essay, phy tut, egg drop, phy test, chem tut, maths tut, econs tut, maths test, written report. killer week huh. no kidding indeed.

got nth much to say abt the wk cos it's really nth except meeting datelines and doing work loh. next wk is equally bad, new skill a for chem spa, phy spa, returning eom and wr drafts, tests here and there, not to forget the usual tuts. i predict a compre coming up also, since we havetn done any this term. sian diaos.

yesterday went to bukit banjang plaza to help grp arf! with their event. quite a fun experience, as i nv done a cip activity to do with pets, in particular dogs haha. had a nice time catching up with weiguang also, since we were manning the registration booth. got to learn some tips from their group abt sponsors for this event. it's realy a tough job, need to book venue, get stalls ready, prepare shows, hire flowers to decorate the stage, and pack goodie bags, take note of logistics, and make sure chaos dont break out (dog fights! lol).

had fun looking at all breeds of dogs, and their cute clothing for the best dressed pet competition. even got dogs with kimono, basketball singlet, baseballer, etc. the prizes were attractive also, kindly sponsored vouchers to sheraton towers, raffles hotel, spa, oriental hotel etc (affordable prices to very high class places).

actually cant really describe la. just random facts here and there. oh the dog show was superb la. i never seen dogs being soooo well trained de la. can without commands know when to start walking alongside the master, and when to stop and sit down to wait before the master starts walking again. all these without a leash ok (lim yuan, must learn to get ur hayley to do that! *dunno if the spelling correct* hahas). he can also make the dog play dead, turn round and round in circles, and identify 1 out of 5 rolled up towels which one the master has touched and left his scent. really a great show i would say. sadly only 30 min haha.

the pro emcee is really pro la. something that can seemingly end in mebbe 15 min, he can lengthen and drag it by cracking jokes and asking questions, all impromptu dao. all the comepetitions he impromptu ask questions can drag till abt 40-45 min la. auctions also, i think without his "pestering" and continous begging (lol. *nkf music rings* wei wo dian zhan deng, jiang wo xin zhao liang~~~ inside joke, only ppl who went would know :P), the vouchers we auction off will be at crazily cheap prices la. now at least is super cheap prices. like a $585 2 person wkend stay at oriental hotel + breakfast auctioned off at $250 la. and um spa vouchers worth $80 auctioned at $30. and sheraton towers sunday brunch prices etc. aiay just all super cheap, at more than 50% discount.

in short, it was a really fun event. i can kinda feel the hard work the grp has put in to make this a success. the stalls part is esp difficult also, getting volunteers to set up stalls related to pets such as treasure hunt, spca merchandise, doggie cookies/tarts/pizzas etc. hope that they raised a satisfactory sum of money =)). must thank adrian, jiawei, weiguang and jaime for organising the event haha. and cassandra for askin me along to go and help.

thats all for my wk end la. sat used on that. today just meng audition. wah im like super duper uber happy la. the lvl 9 license test right, i was so sure i would fail cos i had a bad finishing move, and towards the end i still had lots of pts to kill and a couple of pefects also. then WAH, my last 2 beats saved my life mannn. 2 consecutive perfects, finished off my last 2 perfects and my last 10k pts or so. *imagine my facial expression from disappointment at losing 550 den to smiling really widely and breathing a huuuuuge sigh of relief as i see my no. of perfects left from 2 to 1 to 0 and my pts from 10k to 5k and slowly... slowly... slowly... decrease to 0. WOOT! i passed license!* and also is cos im thoroughly broke now. went to buy my new gear - naruto hair, sleeveless shirt, dark jeans and jordan 1 (black). cost me a huge BOMB of 55k. so i had like 124 den left la.

so u can imagine my exasperation. last night i was meng trying to npc when i had 52k, then keep losing, winning, losing, losing, winning, losing, winning, losing, losing. so i realised my money was depleting eventually cos my other npc mates were too noob (can u imagine i can actually be first in npc battle? that shows how noob the rest ah la. im already so noob le, 250k can get first. thx la.) so today with 52k. i slowly and steadily play normal kinds of modes to get to 55k la. and fyi, each game if u win 1st out of 6 ppl play, u get like 125den. so pls count how many games i have to win to get 3k more? and mind u, not everytime there are 6 ppl playing, and not everytime i can be first de ok. im not some pro. wah then after that left with 124 den, still must play somemore b4 i can get 550 (thats like 4 games). so if i lost ill have to play another 5-6 games to get 550 again to take the license, receiving no exp in the meantime (cos canot gain exp to lvl le ma, must take license). can understand why i so happy le right. so xin ku to get to this stage where i can have my new look AND pass my lvl 9 test. in any case im just in a gd mood for now, until homework comes along and backstabs happiness. *homework pwns happiness in sync-8 130bpm with 300k to 14k* ok back to reality.

havent do hmk. im like soooo dead. hmk time begins. after dinner :P

ok this is it. i only have one word to say.

FUCK.

to all the rubbish that's happening this week.

im so not going to die from all this. i had enough. one by one i shall trample and smash you all. i will not succumb. freaking rubbish. just go to hell.

p.s. dont mess with me this wk.

this wkend has been like sooooooooooooooo busy.

first of all random fact: ppc is taking us for chem until after mrs cheong comes back from maternity leave. which is like when?!?!?!?! im so dead for chem lessons. i NEVER do my chem tutorials.

sat had tanbo outing. i forgot wad made me sleep so late on fri night (i suppose audition. sighs.) i woke up like 11am while we were supposed to meet at cck mrt/lot 1 at 12 la. so chiong a bit, eat breakfast then 67 express route to cck. there was wei quian, lionel, yuting, marilyn, jia ni and me.

ate ching teng for lunch (o.O) b4 we went to play pool. shouhao came along abt this time. haha i think im getting better la, at least i can lose with only 3 balls left on the table :P (ok i know thats like super sucky, but at least im improving right lol.) pool is getting fun haha. i guess anything becomes more fun after u are more pro at it... (ok wrong choice of words, i mean less noob)

after that marilyn went on her own shopping spree (lol), while the remaining 6 of us went to cck sports hall where wei quian booked badminton court. cool eh! tanbo outing go badminton court. ji special yi xia, as compared to movie, eat, pool, arcade, bowl. lol no offence though. along the way we were all having this east vs west debate lol. keep niaoing each side of Singapore and proving their own side is better.

Shouhao (East Side Boy)
vs
The Rest (and i really mean the rest lol, bukit panjang, bukit timah, jurong, cck)

guessed who won? rofl. anyway just meng bring it all the history "jurong was just a mangrove, now all factories only" "east side is just reclaimed land, u are all living on the sea" "east side is so much more cleaner and got more chiobu" lol. i shant elaborate further.

ying ying and liqin came to join us also. we just meng play 2+ hrs of badminton haha. shuang! nobody in the class seems to play badminton de lahs, except wen sheu of course. so i havent played so long for some time lo. and weiquian is like pro daoooooooo >.<

after that went back to lot 1 for dinner and b4 i went home went to buy octopus balls. lol i greedy pok. but also cos long time nv eat and it's $2 for 3 ma (wensi say some place sell $2.20 liao haha). quite hao chi lol.


sun leh, went with wensi deren peishan max limyuan and weechern to kbox. (notice where i put the 'and'? rofl.) as usual, wensi was pro as ever, max was still gd with his songs and the rest of us are also not bad! =)) a fun session, though the toot ppl do off the system at 2. ji evil la. we got 7 ppl squeeze a small room can. replica watches then still nv give us a bit more time de. dumbos. the budget ktv was also quite nice lol. playing songs from our own hp. ji innovation yi xia. haha... i especially like it when the 7 of us sing a song together... very class feeling =)

after that went to take neoprint lmao. it's like my 2nd time taking la haha. havent seen the pics yet cos rushed off for Lake House. hope they will be gd haha. i closed my eyes in one pic la... darn. we were all like amazed at some neoprints they exhibit, all the interesting effects lol. i guess this is just not my field.

anw went to watch Lake House with lim yuan, who kindly agreed to accompany me to watch cos i didnt want to watch alone. (ji poor thing can. have to resort to this :P) the movie was not bad, though a bit confusing and really short! like 1hr++ only. i thought the coincidences were quite nice, like this person happened to be that person and this event happened to link to another event. omg im making it sound like a sci-fi film. the house itself was really nice too, though i thought they would have wanted to make use of the LAKE right. so much for Lake House haha.

after that went to limyuan's house to mugg. (omg im so totally sounding like something im not - a nerd) basically i didnt really do anything there, only arenes (incomplete), cos we were like making stupid and lame statements every 10 seconds. lim yuan is a bit crazy today, saying weirdo stuff lol. we were like practically niaoing each other for the whole duration of abt 2 hrs.

suddenly i cant quote any examples cos there's like too many lolx. one that lim yuan is most proud of will be the mini-me and mini-you. lol... shant really elaborate. it's actually not THAT funny now. just that we were all abit siao siao at her house then we crack lame stuff hahaha.

"i think i must be drunk." (followed by lots of giggles) - lim yuan

lol. fun but tiring wkend. and im soooo dreading the wk to come. expect my next post to be a stressed one, if i even have time to blog next week. most prob i will, as i said dunno how many times liao, man just cant get their priorities right.

life is just so dull. school cca home. it's just 3 things that constitute my life. how fun.

had loads of fun at dj's house. havent had a proper class outing for ages le. STJ was fun but too short. this was really gd. thanks for organising this.

appreciate ryan for wanting to ask me out today. but in the end cancelled. ah nvm.

had a gd long chat with sam also. we havent talked like for so long, especially with the AYLS not long ago.

tml, totally have no programmes. wanted to organise a kbox session, chanel handbags but some ppl not free so it's off loh. so i suppose im gonna just stone at home loh.

WR is coming along fine. but pw is not. i dunno why i just cannot bring myself to... work. not that im slacking, it's just suddenly stagnant for me. my inner self.

im an old fren. my friendship is being treasured. so is it so hard to go out with a friend u havent met for months? postponing has suddenly become like part and parcel of life. i dunno if i can take it anymore.

sorry. just suddenly being emo. sad song therapy now.

this is another random post that only i will understand. dont bother to try to decipher. it's just for me to relate to.

but one thing YOU can relate to is im not very cheerful now. yup.

Have been wanting to do this for some time ever since i visited kwang guan's blog. now that national day hols are here, so i have the time for this b4 i go off to do stuff... sadz, national day also cannot relax haha. jc life. *sighs* anyway, here goes a whole string of it...

One

Your Power Color Is Red-Orange

At Your Highest: You are warm, sensitive, and focused on your personal growth. At Your Lowest: You become defensive and critical if you feel attacked. In Love: You are loyal - but you demand the respect you deserve. How You're Attractive: You are very affectionate and inspire trust. Your Eternal Question: "Am I Respected?"

Two

You Are a Auditory Learner

You tend to remember what you hear, and you have a knack for speaking well. You excel at debating, foreign languages, and music. You would be an excellent diplomat - or rock star!

Three

People Envy Your Compassion

You have a kind heart and an unusual empathy for all living creatures. You tend to absorb others' happiness and pain. People envy your compassion, and more importantly, the connections it helps you build. And compassionate as you are, you feel for them.

Four

You Are 50% Weird

Normal enough to know that you're weird... But too damn weird to do anything about it!

Five

You Are 50% Boyish and 50% Girlish

You are pretty evenly split down the middle - a total eunuch. Okay, kidding about the eunuch part. But you do get along with both sexes. You reject traditional gender roles. However, you don't actively fight them. You're just you. You don't try to be what people expect you to be.

Six

You are 60% Sagittarius

Seven

You are 60% Capricorn

Eight

You Passed 8th Grade Math

Congratulations, you got 9/10 correct!

Nine

Your Birth Month is December

You love life and exude an outgoing, cheerful vibe. Blessed with a great sense of humor, you can laugh at adversity. Your soul reflects: Celebration, success, and wealth Your gemstone: Blue Topaz Your flower: Narcissus Your colors: Indigo, green, and blue-green

Ten

Your True Birth Month Is March

Moody Secretive Revengeful Trustworthy Affectionate Loves traveling Loves attention Shy and reserved Musically talented Loves home decor Not easily angered Sensitive to others Loves special things Attractive personality Loves to serve others Loves peace and serenity Observant and assess others Loves to dream and fantasize Appreciative and returns kindness Hasty decisions in choosing partners Naturally honest, generous and sympathetic

personally i feel that most of them are quite true, cos i went to double check with some of my second choices for the same question. hahas. im like having identity crisis now la, neither am i very sagittarius nor capricorn. and heh, my 8th grade (sec 2) maths still can pass. it brings consolation to my confidence in maths in jc. yeah right.

today has been a super tiring day. actually i was feeling super sleepy on the bus on the way home, but a few games of AuditionOnline with weechern and cheejia kinda woke me up. then afte the bath, feeling quite fresh now. but my drowziness shall set in abt... 10 min time? lol.

woke up super late today, cos last night meng play till 3am. woke up wanted to chiong to ck house for egg drop, but realised got bai bai to ancestors and all, plus now is the lunar seventh month, so stayed at home for lunch la.

egg drop was ok la... so far progress is slow, but steady. hopefully we can get it done by wk 8 >.< scared later we put in so much effort then our structure be the only one that caused the egg to crack la. then damn sad. after that ck me and deren went to eat dinner and wee chern went home. deren also asked wensi along. after that deren and i followed wensi to ikea to buy her fren a bdae present. very nice of her la, go buy when it's already so late liao. havent been to ikea for some time, found lots of things interesting la. we practically speed windowshopped,  louis vuitton handbags from living room setups to bedroom colour schemes to cute wardrobes to rocking chairs to mirrors to kitchen shelves to thumbelia leaf looking shade to retro clocks to flower vases to candles. aiyah juuuuust lots of stuff. after that although we were like super full, went to try out the hotdog there. haha it's my first time trying out mustard, so i must say it goes really well with hotdogs =)) and the dispenser for the sauces are like so cute la, this gigantic bottle which oozes out only a small stream of the sauce. talk abt irony. after that went home... i must say deren is really a nice fren to talk to haha. wont have realised this if not of all the class/classmate outings that led us to always go back together, cos it's along the way mahs. he's just really quite nice lol. no wonder wensi also says "deren is a good fren!". (actually i had a lot more on this. but super user-friendly and server-perfect blogger has just deleted a HUGE chunk of my post. so i no mood to retype, simply summarise only. pardon me. but deren and wensi should be able to relate a lot to it haha. [like duh.]) on a more solemn note, but not sad/depressed ok, i decided to give up le. after some thinking and some advice given by ppl. listening to this song now, and suddenly realise the lyrics are sooooooo nice. the nitty gritty details add a lot of life and reality to this song. thx wensi for sending it to me. a wonderful part of my sad song therapy. dedicating it to someone special. u all should too. ASLYN - That's When I Love You When you have to look away When you dont have much to say Thats when I love you I love you, just that way To hear you stumble when you speak Or see you walk with two left feet Thats when I love you I love you, endlessly And when your mad cuz you lost a game Forget Im waiting in the rain Baby i love you, I love you anyway Heres my promise made tonight You can count on me for life Thats when i love you When nothing you do can change my mind The more I learn, The more I love The more my heart cant get enough Thats when I love you, WhenI love you no matter what So when you turn to hide your eyes Cause the movie it made you cry Thats when I love you I love you a little more each time And when you cant quite match your clothes Or when you laugh at your own jokes Thats when I love you I love you, more than you'll know And when you forget that we had a date Or that look that you give when you show up late Baby I love you, I love you anyway Heres my promise made tonight You can count on me for life Thats when i love you When nothing you do can change my mind The more I learn, The more I love The more my heart cant get enough Thats when I love you, When I love you no matter what Thats when I love you When nothing baby Nothing you do could change my mind The more I learn, The more I love The more my heart cant get enough Thats when I love you, When I love you no matter what No matter what P.S. so i shall just give my well wishes and get on with life as usual lo... nevertheless, it's still really nice to have such an old fren haha... P.P.S. could any kind soul tell me how to upload songs onto my blog? im like so uber sian with a silent blog haha. shall promote my sad song therapy on my blog as well. P.P.P.S. ok i admit it. im reaaaaaaaaaaaaaallllllllllly sad.

hello everyone. new look sia!! nice anot xD heh heh.

nth much to report this wk. finally submit my EoM full of loopholes and stuff. wadeva, it's over anywayz. just wait till doomsday when she gives back. ruiyuan kindly reminded us it's 51 days to promos... 50 days more in abt an hour's time. gg. wah, from my horrible block test results... must buck up for promos. i really dunno when and where to begin. must start worrying soon =((

oh ya... didnt really talk abt the qing gong yan we had at tampines safra last fri... seniors, it's the last event u'll be having with us le. we are truly thoroughly officially on our own, chanel handbags to fend against next yrs syf together with jc1s of 2007. u all have been a fun bunch of ppl, esp those from tanbo =) liqin, guatpei, yingying, gwenyth, ikuyo, wenxi, siying. thanks a lot to u all, making this batch of tanbo so fun and vibrant! and to the exco as well, making us feel equally welcome to the CO family =)) anyway. it was a really fun night, with nice food, nice games, nice karaoke system, nice 'performances', and lame emcees. lol. a small room with lots of ppl, makes it really cosy and homely, full of warmth =).

back to more recent, went back to high school CO yesterday. met quite a lot of new faces, seen the new sec 3 exco. (to imagine them as small boysboys when they first entered the co lol. makes u feel old.) had a small chat with shi xian on the bus on the way home. ah... the good old CO times. high school was equally memorable =)). pity that little seniors went back, only got chris shupeng and me. nvm, should have more in future pracs, cos we are helping them out for an oct concert.

before lets all carried too away by warmth of ccas (winks at those who dont have ccas - just kiddin), next wk will have 3 days off school! so happy hahas. national day lo... *marikita rings to mind* ya... but these 2 wks shall be very PW packed. cos of our busy schedule for WR... hopefully our efforts will pay off and we will do well for PW man! thats if we really keep to our current schedule la. trust me, it's scary.

nevertheless, looking forward to going out during nat hols or next wkend!! anyone who also bored ask me out lehhs. meanwhile... shall be sian diao at going ck's house tml... for EGG DROP!! sian anot. *someone pushes ur head downwards* agree right! haha... thats all la. nth much to say either.

P.S. milubing won for superband! shall drink milo on monday to celebrate that. why leh? cos milubing ~~~ milo bing ~~~ ice milo!! hahas. lame diaox.

P.P.S. its very painful when someone puts u as last priority. especially when... u just feel heartbroken. and sad. down. depressed.