Saturday, December 16, 2006
ah this is strange. feeling moody in the middle of the day. still got co performance tonight at admiralty.
emo-
anyway xiao tian tian introduced the ppl in ocip mass convo (moo prince and junior owl) to a personality test that's pretty accurate to me. got a little shock at the first reading, cos it's was like entirely bad. then 2nd reading was ok, and the 3rd turned for the better. of cos anyone will say that the 1st is then the accurate one, and im deceiving myself by doing the test 3 times. but the fact is, i personally think the 3rd suits me best. here goes:
first reading
You are in a state of constant expectation and want interesting and exciting things to happen to you. But in fact, you are a 'Walter Mitty' at times - a dreamer - over-imaginative and often given to fantasy or day-dreaming. There is nothing wrong in 'dreaming' - how boring life would be if one just followed the doctrines of everyday life - but one must not continue leading a life of continuous fantasy. You need to face reality in spite of all its possible shortcomings.
You are experiencing considerable difficulty trying to achieve your goals. As a consequence of this you are becoming more and more irritable. Your friends and acquaintances are finding it increasingly more difficult to appease or to reason with you. You are the cause of your own problems. Don't be so impulsive. It is your vacillation that can lead to problems and uncertainties. Ease up a little.
The present situation, not of your making, is forcing you to compromise. You will have to hold back and forgo some of your hopes, dreams and aspirations.
You feel that you must have co-operation from those close to you before the existing stressful situation can be improved. You feel that no-one understands you and this lack of understanding and appreciation makes you feel completely isolated. You need that feeling of security and would like to get away from what you now consider depressing shackles. You have that need to re-establish your own individuality but your sensual self-restraint makes it difficult for you to let go - to open up, but the way that you are feeling at this time makes you feel that 'Enough is enough' and you are prepared to give in. This disturbs you as you feel that this attitude is an obvious sign of weakness - an attitude to be overcome and so in spite of this situation you feel that in order to assert your own individuality you need to continue to practice self-restraint.
You are greatly impressed by individuality and have interest in people who have outstanding qualities. You try to imitate those people that you admire and their characteristics, hoping that you will be able to display similar qualities in your own personality.
second reading
You are always alert and keenly observant. You are not truly satisfied with your everyday status and you are seeking fresh avenues which can give you the opportunity to prove your worth. You feel that there are still many barriers that stand between you and recognition - but one by one you will overcome them. Your tenacity is your one good point - like an English Bulldog, once you take the bite, you will seldom let go.
You are looking for excitement and stimulation and you are ready to try anything - but be careful not to take too many risks.
Your involvements seldom measure up to your high emotional expectations and your 'needs' to be 'loved' and 'cared for' have in the past often led to extreme disappointment. But a change is in the wind - make a firm decision to start anew. Just 'think' it..and it will happen.
You are an emotional, sincere and impressionable individual experiencing frustration and unnecessary stress. You vehemently resist any form of pressure from outside sources, insisting on your independence as an individual. You want to be a decision maker - to make up your own mind without interference. You wish to be able to draw your own conclusions and arrive at your own decisions. You detest uniformity and mediocrity as you want to be regarded as one who gives authoritative opinions. Your favourite expression could well be that 'I may not always be right but I am never wrong'. You're a perfectionist and even though you may feel that the other person's point of view may be right, you find it extremely difficult to admit that you could be wrong.
You feel that you need to move on. You feel that you are not appreciated or valued for what you are and that the time is 'now'. Failure to do so will not afford you the conditions to prove your worth.
third reading
You are in a state of constant expectation and want interesting and exciting things to happen to you. But in fact, you are a 'Walter Mitty' at times - a dreamer - over-imaginative and often given to fantasy or day-dreaming. There is nothing wrong in 'dreaming' - how boring life would be if one just followed the doctrines of everyday life - but one must not continue leading a life of continuous fantasy. You need to face reality in spite of all its possible shortcomings.
Being a likeable person you get on well with neighbours and friends. You don't need anything to 'Rock your boat'. You want to 'love' and to be loved'.
You lack confidence and that is a great pity because deep down you are indeed a warm caring person. This lack of confidence is making you wary of being drawn into any open discussion or conflict and so you feel as if you should let matters lie and leave well alone. But there may be a pleasant surprise in store for you. You are beginning to grow and very soon - sooner than you believed possible - this warm loving new you will be available for all to see and to appreciate.
You are an emotional, sincere and impressionable individual experiencing frustration and unnecessary stress. You vehemently resist any form of pressure from outside sources, insisting on your independence as an individual. You want to be a decision maker - to make up your own mind without interference. You wish to be able to draw your own conclusions and arrive at your own decisions. chanel handbags You detest uniformity and mediocrity as you want to be regarded as one who gives authoritative opinions. Your favourite expression could well be that 'I may not always be right but I am never wrong'. You're a perfectionist and even though you may feel that the other person's point of view may be right, you find it extremely difficult to admit that you could be wrong.
You are greatly impressed by individuality and have interest in people who have outstanding qualities. You try to imitate those people that you admire and their characteristics, hoping that you will be able to display similar qualities in your own personality. i cant say i know myself best. but i really dont think im as flawed as wad the first reading gave. or maybe i really do. i dont know. so i decided to see the readins as a whole, both the very bad and the very good. the extremes.
if u look at the 3rd reading, u can see traces from the 1st and the 2nd. this shows u how i didnt fake it out. i really did the test anew everytime. thus they show my character in some way or another. pointing out a few...
1)You are in a state of constant expectation and want interesting and exciting things to happen to you. But in fact, you are a 'Walter Mitty' at times - a dreamer - over-imaginative and often given to fantasy or day-dreaming. There is nothing wrong in 'dreaming' - how boring life would be if one just followed the doctrines of everyday life - but one must not continue leading a life of continuous fantasy. You need to face reality in spite of all its possible shortcomings.
haha this is very true. i've been conjuring up fantasy stories ever since i was young, wad with the element warriors, horoscope guardians, leviathan queen, geyser rush, etcetc. i still do that sometimes when i feel bored. and i think a lot haha. try to reflect on the things i've done. but apparently it isnt working out eh. im still as detestable.
2) You feel that you must have co-operation from those close to you before the existing stressful situation can be improved. You feel that no-one understands you and this lack of understanding and appreciation makes you feel completely isolated. You need that feeling of security and would like to get away from what you now consider depressing shackles. You have that need to re-establish your own individuality but your sensual self-restraint makes it difficult for you to let go - to open up, but the way that you are feeling at this time makes you feel that 'Enough is enough' and you are prepared to give in. This disturbs you as you feel that this attitude is an obvious sign of weakness - an attitude to be overcome and so in spite of this situation you feel that in order to assert your own individuality you need to continue to practice self-restraint.
+Your involvements seldom measure up to your high emotional expectations and your 'needs' to be 'loved' and 'cared for' have in the past often led to extreme disappointment. You feel that you are not appreciated or valued for what you are and that the time is 'now'.
+
You want to 'love' and to be loved'.
haha all 3 say the same thing. that i think the world hates me. haha maybe not so serious, but to a certain extent true. most of my down moments come from the sense of loss of friends, lack of warmth and loneliness. i guess growing up in a family with sibilings that are way older than you does affect you. i simply live like a single child. everytime i see ppl post abt how they get along with their cousins, i feel a pang of jealousy. cos i really dunno my cousins well. not msn, not hp, not even email. not to mention going out to catch a movie or wadsoever. i dont think it's going to change in the near future. and haha i broke down quite a couple of times due to friendship in my lifetime so far. and it really really means a lot to me as compared to others i guess. each major row i have with a friend seems like one with my really loved one and i breakdown like anything. i guess friends are a lot a lot more important to me compared to others. guess only i can understand, cos no one knows how deep an impact it leaves on me. and how big a portion it takes up of me.
3) You are greatly impressed by individuality and have interest in people who have outstanding qualities. You try to imitate those people that you admire and their characteristics, hoping that you will be able to display similar qualities in your own personality.
this im a bit reluctant to admit. but ya it's true to some extent. i do like to observe what i hope i can have in ppl, and try to sculpt myself to adopt that quality i want to have. but that doesnt entirely make me a copycat or anything. after all, im just rojak loh. try to learn from everyone, i end up being myself i guess.
ya so basically im exposing all my bad points for everyone to see. but nvm u all can get to know me better i guess. no point showing you how saint-ly i am, cos there's always a devil in everyone. just that mine seems to be more evil and satanic i guess.
I AM EVIL~
voodoo-ed and killed at 2:40 PM
VOODOO-ED.
life is like a needle.
a voodoo needle.
it pricks.
and it hurts.
every passing day,
it will find its way to prick me.
the moment i felt
the lethal injection enter my body,
i knew it was over.
this curse has been embedded into me,
not going to be lifted anytime soon.
for the next couple of decades at least.
it's too late.
don't start regretting.
the curse of life begins.
everything is no longer the same,
anymore.
try to accept it.
(i know i'm trying.)
i've been voodoo-ed.
and now,
i'm just waiting
for the effects to take place,
for the day to come.
waiting, for the curse to befall upon me.
simply waiting,
to meet my doom.
life's never the same again.
i'm voodoo-ed. and killed.
