ok this post not really meant for ppl to read. im just sprouting nonsense. ignore this post.

i think the fact that it's the end of the hols is finally hitting me. i mean it has nudged me a couple of times since last week, after my bdae (i love the date it's on, serves as a marker for me to get back into sch reopen mood in 10 days), but it's really smacking me in the face right now.

i was just playing the piano, still trying but failing to play guan huai fang shi properly.

i was just eating a simple slice of cake and turning on my music to a relatively loud volume. chanel handbags just discovered my favourite song of the week. david tao haha. i know im slow, but i havent been listening to his tai mei li until yesterday night when my playlist stumbled upon it. eating cake mouthful by mouthful, song after song playing in my ear. dunno why it just seemed especially significant to me.

oh that brings me to last night, when i was up at 4am, putting on my earphones and opening the window, feeling the slight breeze and looking at the night sky. fell in love with bu ai.

now i got this sudden urge to go swimming. plunge into the pool and exhaust myself.

loads of hmk still piled on my table. and im gaining to an unacceptable weight. still cant do pull ups. screwed.

haha i dunno how long has it been since im so truthful to myself. lazy stupid fat and weak. yep thats wad i am.

BUCK UP BUCK UP BUCK UP!!!

i know sch is reopening soon, but i really want to vent some frustration and stress. wonder if i can find anyone to go out for one last time with me. kbox, a trip to the beach, taking mrt rides from one end to another. anything along those lines. or go gymming with me.

then again, this emo feeling should probably wear off soon.

relaxing.