haha... suddenly feeling a bit down tonight. dunno if it's cos the long weekend is over? lol. or im piling unnecessary stress upon myself? or mebbe it's just cos i think too much.

hmm my sad song therapy hasnt come to play for quite a long time le. i guess i was still quite happy the past few weeks bah. haha.. but good things do come to an end. well at least it lasted for a month or so lol.

erm, i dont really know how to put it, and don't really want to put it down explicitly. actually then again, i cant really put it into words. it's just this feeling that i have loh..

seasons change, tides rise and fall, time passes every moment. i think it's time to make some changes to my life le bah.

a pity though, i really thought it could last for very long haha... like a lot longer. chanel handbags but apparently it didnt and wouldnt last bah. but well, u can't blame anyone for it. it's just the way of life i guess.

i dont want to act like some parasite, moving on once my host has found its immunity against me. but just like a parasite, i cant survive without a host. argh, im totally contradicting myself =.=

dunno wad to do la. totally unanticipated. i have no idea wad direction to head towards next. the seemingly impregnable fortress has finally collapsed on me. and now, i've got nowhere to run, nowhere to hide. totally lost. so must i wander aimlessly in this mass of nothingness?

i wish for someone to give me the light, and lead me in the right direction. but then again, i dont want to allow anyone inside this barren land with me. i dont think i want to involve anyone. i dont want to give others a worse impression than what they already have of me le.

so i guess ill just have to trudge on myself. slowly trek through all this mess. trying to bear as much hope as i can that i can find another host who will embrace me and allow me to survive again. before i totally die off.

hah, actually hoping for someone to accept a parasite like me...

tomorrow will be the start of a new week. and ill try my best to mask all these. continue to dwell in the nice memories i had. continue to pretend to be happy, and cheerful bah. hide behind in the shield im trying so hard to maintain.

nah. im telling myself now. i shall not appear to be emo. so, happy cheerful smiles all the way!

i hope i'll be able to do it. lol. =D...