there are tons of events that happen that are probably a lot more significant and important than this, but i feel i just had to blog it. sorry for letting that previous emo post hang there as the current post for so long, i've grown out of that shortly after ever since i attended a course my bro and sis both went for and asked me to go. due to time constraints i probably cant continue, due to meet joel tong (yay fellow TIP intern) in an hour plus...

i just discovered that running in the rain can be so therapeutic.

ok i know it's probably damn random, but i just had to say it. went for a jog just now, after feeling super guilty for the cny goodies intake, and good positive motivation from weekian and weechern (amazingly both wee! lol). was quite pissed off by the current roadworks on the bukit timah mrt line which will not exactly really benefit me since i'm like stuck in the middle of 2 mrt stations, which are both not that within walking distance (talk about bad luck and bad location of residence), as it had disrupted my running route more than once. so decided to chiong and do a u-turn after coming to the roadblock, resulting in a longer distance than usual. (ok la, i've done two full rounds before when i was still fitter, so it's "supposed" to be do-able.)

so during the u-turn, well no prizes for this, it started to drizzle. and the weather is still damn hot. now plus humid. even worse. then run some more. then rain more heavily. then run some more. then DOWNPOURRRRR. like seriously. i dont think i was ever caught in a downpour, cos i usually always have an umbrella with me. so this kinda like a first. and i'm like super tired already,louis vuitton handbags having ran more than what i intended to, and it's after a longgggg hiatus (i had a really packed schedule, so havent run for damn long). so i was mega dulan. like frigging angry. and frustrated. and thinking, for crying out loud, how suay can i get. there were totally no signs it was going to rain la can.

then came the sense of helplessness, fatigue and despair. (okok im exaggerating this lol.) i was like, "omg there's still so long more to go before i reach back to my estate..." and there's a omg-ly steep slope right at the entrance of my estate >.< well i dunno what came over me after that, but after seeing how other ppl also chiong to their destinations despite the rain, and not like hiding at the nearest bus stops or wad, my mindset changed. i began to feel a weird sense of empowerment. like suddenly i tell myself i can do it. so i just chionged. and i can tell u, distance doesnt matter loh seriously. the distance i ran may not be very far, but when one chiongs ah, it's seriously damn tiring. LIKE SERIOUSLY. my legs feel like jelly now. esp cos most of the last part of the route was downslope. (i was counting on that to give myself an excuse to walk the last stretch la. in the end... >.<)

but even though my legs are damn chui now, there's this sense of satisfaction i cant describe within me. ok la, it's really quite stupid come to think of it haha. but somehow i just felt happy i managed to finish wad i set out to do. you know, like with this fighting spirit and determination within u, u will just get to ur destination. this is actually very similar to what i learnt during the basic course, where intention is all you need to achive the results that you want, and mechanisms are really really minor when compared to intention. obstacles become an excuse and justification for you not to work for your goals, and in the end one will just forever stay in his comfort zone, not willing to step out and take a risk to do something different. i dunno if i will fall sick after this (wasn't really too well already, since i got quite heaty after all the cny goodies), but for now, i'll have no regrets loh. and this is what is important. the sense of fulfillment and achieving one's aims.

that voice in you to break through all obstacles, knowing your destination is just right ahead within reach.

uh this may sound totally retarded to certain ppl, well mainly cos i dunno how exactly to express how i felt in words. but i don't really care what ppl think anymore. as long as for me, i think that the lessons i've gained from this seemingly trivial matter feels invaluable to me. that's all that matters. just wanted to share la, if anyone who reads this can roughly understand wad i mean, great, if not, just ignore the post bah...

ok im like running late. need to get stuck in the peak hour traffic too. hope to find some time to properly sit down and blog abt the numerous things that happened in the past month. it's been a really crazy month. new friends, new discoveries about myself, new attitudes towards life, new determination to achieve the results i want, new closer forged friendships, new enlightenment about many many things in life. i think my basic course friends and ppl like hanzong, bernard and ruiyuan will probably understand what i mean...

lastly, just wanted to say to everyone, albeit quite belated haha. happy chinese NEW year!

it's a brand new beginning.