this is probably really overdue. valentine's day was like a week ago. but went to catch valentine's day with 6d classmates today as a super last min outing after house visiting. went with wensi yushan puayhian dunjie zhiyong ruiyuan.

hmm i'm not going to elaborate anything abt the movie. the plot is so complicated (there are 5 storylines intertwined in the movie), so i shan't bother with that. though wensi is right to say that this is all just fictional, and probably presents all the ideal relationships, and real-life relationships never go that way anyway, but somehow i just can't help but feel a twitch in the heart.

hmm mebbe i'm starting to really grow up liao lol. i probably hardly ever given relationships any thought at all. i guess it's probably due to my self-esteem (low obviously), which comes from quite a number of reasons la, mostly physical appearances i should think. haha it's something no one can run away from, no matter how good it may sound that "looks don't matter, what matters comes from within the heart". so that, coupled with the fact that no one has ever expressed anything at all, it's kinda no wonder i'm still what i am today. single. haha.

er im not despo hor, seriously. and im not trying to be emo here. it's just... something that came to mind after various events that happened to friends around me, and the movie was kinda the final straw. of cos, not every relationship is all lovey-dovey, but from the steady relationships, to the occasional quarrels, louis vuitton handbags to the huge break-up rows, to even the pure simple crushes on ppl, some of these around me have kinda reminded me time and again, shouldn't i be giving this some thought?

i guess different people just have different ways of life. some ppl just get attached to one after another, and break-ups never daunt them. some ppl get quite badly hurt after one bad relationship, then takes a very ong time to heal before they are willing to accept anyone else again. some ppl have high expectations, and therefore it's hard for them to find anyone they deem fit. some ppl try and try to no avail, and it's somehow just hard to find anyone at all. and some ppl, just live their life as though relationships aren't existent, and live happily just having friends and family. they are the ones who think they got everything under control and finding the other half is of no significant importance to them. or so they pretend.

and of cos, some ppl get attached and they know that they have found their partner for life.

somehow i just seem to blind myself from that possible outcome lol. always falling into the category of pretending not to care and never really bother to go look for one, cos i think deep down i'm truly afraid i'll end up being the group who try and try and nothing will ever work out. i guess it's a way of shielding myself from possible damage, by just not involving myself in any relationships at all. it's kind of similar to a porcupine, or a tortoise, when i just hide under my spikes and in my shell, not willing to reach out to anyone that i may like at all.

lol this is getting mushy. i prob never wrote anything like this before. cos i've been trying to avoid. and i also dunno where i'm going with this post. it's prob just to serve as a reminder that, relationships do play a big part in my life, and is something that cannot be neglected. unless i decide to stay single for my whole life and die a lonely man lol. ok la it's kinda way too early to start saying all this rubbish.

but still. perhaps it's time to shed off that layer of spikes and come out from my shell already.